Spicy appetizer

Appetizers:For two people.

Soak wooden skewers or you'll burn the shit out of them like I often do.

Get a 2 quart bowl, pour one 12oz. can of diced pineapple (retained) two tablespoons of red pepper, about one tablespoon of black pepper and a teaspoon of kosher salt, and about 2 tablespoons of honey (I used 1/2 clover and 1/2 wildflower [dark] honey). Chop the Peppers and onions and let them soak in the spicy and sweet pinapple juice for a half hour so they really take on the sweet and spicy flavors.

Mix-it real good, with your bare hands, like you're hot for pineapple. Yeah that's right. Mmmmm. Oh yeah. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Hmmmm. Oh well.

Now push this new gew between some bell peppers, onions and pork.

Put this hot and spicy and sweet thing over hot coals for up to 15 minutes. Flip and let sit over hot coals for another 5 minutes. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. You know what I'm sayin'? That's right.

I suggest sear the meat prior to this so you don't poison yourself and get sued by your signifagant other.

Now I don't stick to this recipe, strickly, you know, because some day's are spicier than others.

Love,

J.

The Mick

On June 18, 2009, it will have been 3 years since my father was killed in an event that I will never fully understand. Basically, Father's day is the worst day of my life. I still miss my father emensly [sic].

I don't know what I am going to do this year besides miss him. Thank God for my wife.

She is reading a website writen by my Dad and I. it is about the history of my family, (pre-American Revolution days) and so on. She doesn't know how much it stings to know she is reading it and why should she? She should know about how deep my family roots are vested in this country. My fore-father James Hearn received a comendation from the newly formed U.S.A. for services rendered during the American Revolution. The problem is, I am definitely the product of these people and I know full well my background. I know why I don't panic in dangerous situations. I know a lot about myself due to my knowledge of my family's history. I know why I joke around during serious situations. I know why I don't lose my head during an emergency. The problem is, I am afraid that she will see the same pattern my father and I discovered while researching our family's past.

Love,

J.

The Worst Guard Dog Ever

The Worst Guard Dog Ever

by

James S. Hearn

The front door is locked. The windows are locked. The back doors are locked. The house is fully locked. Yet that doesn’t mean much in a city, does it? So when the man and woman of the house, the people, are asleep and the bad men outside are lurking its good to have most dogs. When the bad men are outside your window with their tools it is good to have most dogs.

The slightest tap, rap, bang, or snap would wake most dogs. A window sliding open with the slightest scrape, a door wedged ajar with the tiniest creak would wake most dogs.

Leeloo sleeps in bed with her people. She snuggles under the covers with her people. She enjoys this because she can touch both of her people at the same time, thus enhancing the snuggling. She curls her back against the man and rests her chin on the woman. She snores with the man and breaths with the woman. She loves her sleepy-time so much her people have noticed a slight grumpiness when they wake her by accident.

One night Leeloo’s people washed all of the dishes from a big dinner and stacked them high to dry. Then they watched some drivel on television, and then they dragged themselves slowly to bed. She dragged herself behind them and they all flopped into bed. Leeloo made sure she was tucked between the woman and the man and they all fell asleep.

The air-conditioner was blasting and they were all comfortable and all snuggled and deeply sleeping when there was a sound; a crash. Leeloo and her people heard it. The male and got up to investigate.

Leeloo stayed in bed with the woman because she was already sleeping and well snuggled with her woman. The male returned casually to the bed and put his arm around the woman. “What was it?” the woman asked with a sleepy mumble.“A couple dishes fell into the sink.” The Man kissed the woman and then kissed Leeloo on the top of her soft furry head. She sighed then returned to her snoring.

Leeloo is the worst guard dog ever, and she doesn’t care because she is a Boston terrier; not a guard dog. She knows if her people really need a guard dog they can buy a German shepherd, feed it growth hormone, and beat the shit out of it every now and then. Leeloo knows Boston terriers are for petting and loving and snuggling and too small to be turned into giant fuckin’ monster dogs.